IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers.Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions

#sales #companies #people #money #workers #force #work #factors #consideration #staff #positions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recruiting a sales
person
 is quite different from others. They require some abilities which might not be crucial for candidates applying for
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 department. Some believe that greed for
money
 is required in
a
Suggestion
an
 applicant for a sales job, while I suppose other factors should equal weight. On the
one
 hand, there are some grounds for the view that hunger for
money
 is essential for the
person
 applying in sales department.
Firstly
,
annual appraisal cycle
Suggestion
the annual appraisal cycle
 of a sales
person
 consider the sales for annual increment. To gain big increment, a
person
 would try to boost his or her sales.
On the
contrary if
Accept comma addition
contrary, if
person
Suggestion
a person
the person
 is contended with the existing salary, would not even try to convince the customer.
Secondly
, urge for the
money
 would insist a
person
 to be an industrious
one
.
For instance
, financial gains received as a concession would work as a motivator for a salesman to work hard and
sale
the activity of persuading someone to buy
sell
 more.
On the other hand
, it seems to me that to be an effective sales
person
, some interpersonal skills and professional skills are required.
Firstly
, the individual should be persuasive and friendly. The ability to change people’s mind is
one
 of the most important personal trait in the sales.
For example
, it is not possible that all the customers would be interested in the product or service a representative has to offer. The
person
 should be able to approach customer from an
angel
the space between two lines or planes that intersect; the inclination of one line to another; measured in degrees or radians
angle
 that make sense. The sales
person
 must have ability to make the customer think that he or she needs a specific product.
Secondly
, a salesperson must
also
 be highly motivated. The
person
 should be able to take initiative without any direction.
For instance
, a good salesperson would constantly think the ways to generate sales and get ahead. Even when the working hours have been completed, he will brainstorm ideas to make strategies.
Thus
, it is compelling for the
person
 to be proactive and enthusiastic. To conclude,
although
monetary benefit
Suggestion
the monetary benefit
 is
one
 of the essentials for hard work and urge of
money
 for a
person
 is
one
 of the criteria to hire
sales man
a man salesperson
salesman
, I suppose other characteristics are equally important.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: