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Band 4.5

Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well.do you agree?

#employers #holidays #employees #job
Holidays are the best medium to feel
relax
Suggestion
relaxed
 and to remove stress.It is commonly believed that boss should give long time vacations to workers to motivate them to perform their job in a good manner. I personally believe that holidays should be offered to
workers but
Accept comma addition
workers, but
 in a
limit
Suggestion
limited
.
To begin
 with, these days employees have to deal with
lot
Suggestion
a lot
lots
 of tasks and because of
this
 they feel stressed. In order to get rid of
this
 stress
,
Accept space
,
a break from work is preferred which will make encourage workers to work hard.
For instance
, it is surveyed that employees feel more energetic when they get
break
Suggestion
a break
 from
hectic schedule
Suggestion
a hectic schedule
hectic schedules
the hectic schedule
.
Besides
this
,
Accept space
,
with the help of
this
leave they
Accept comma addition
leave, they
 will get some time to spend with their family and loved ones
,
Accept space
,
thus
 makes them more productive
.
Accept space
.
 On the flip side of
coin
Suggestion
the coin
, there are some negatives of longer leaves despite of its positives
such
 as if employees have a long break from workplace it is difficult for workers to concentrate on their work
.
Accept space
.
Additionally
,
Accept space
,
it will take long time to settle comfortably in
organization
Suggestion
the organization
an organization
. Longer leaves will not only badly affects the
organization but
Accept comma addition
organization, but
also
 a nation as a long cut off of employees from business will lead to losses which certainly affects
economy
Suggestion
the economy
. To conclude
,
Accept space
,
 I would say that employees should be provided
vacations but
Accept comma addition
vacations, but
 not long as it will have a bad effect on workers
,
Accept space
,
 economy and business as well.As it is well known saying "excess of everything is severe".
Submitted by mukeshrohilla210 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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