The graph below shows population figures for India and China since the year 2000 and predicted population growth up until 2050.

#population #figures #india #china #year #growth

The

graph

shows the

growth

of the populations in India and China from 2000 and the expectations of the

growth

till 2050. It is clear from the

graph

that the

number

of the

population

Change preposition

apply

show examples

billions.

According to

what the

graph

shown

Wrong verb form

shows

show examples

that there is an increase

Change preposition

show examples

the populations of the two countries from 2000 until the

converge

Replace the word

convergence

show examples

of the

population

number

in 2030.

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

year has the two countries the same

population

number

and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is almost 1.450

billions

Change to singular

billion

show examples

. After 2030, the total

population

of China dropped from 1.450 billion in 2030 to 1450 billion in 2050, It is obvious from the

graph

that it is the same

number

in 2015.

While

on the other hand

, after 2030 the

population

growth

of India still

increasing

Wrong verb form

increase

show examples

till it became 1.600

billions

Change to singular

billion

show examples

in 2050.

To sum up

, we could say that there is a significantly growing in the

population

of India from 2000 to 2050.

While

the

growth

in China gets lower from 2030 until 2050.

Submitted by abdulhai.alali22 on Tue Sep 17 2019

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, growth, number, population with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

168 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below shows population figures for India and China since the year 2000 and predicted population growth up until 2050.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is better for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In most successful companies, some people think that communication between employers and workers is the most important factor, other people say that other factors are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The number of children that read for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage children to read more? (Write at least 250 words.)