The graph below shows population figures for India and China since the year 2000 and predicted population growth up until 2050.

The graph below shows population figures for India and China since the year 2000 and predicted population growth up until 2050.
The
graph
shows the
growth
of the populations in India and China from 2000 and the expectations of the
growth
till 2050. It is clear from the
graph
that the
number
of the
population
is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
billions.
According to
what the
graph
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
that there is an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the populations of the two countries from 2000 until the
converge
Replace the word
convergence
show examples
of the
population
number
in 2030.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
year has the two countries the same
population
number
and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is almost 1.450
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
. After 2030, the total
population
of China dropped from 1.450 billion in 2030 to 1450 billion in 2050, It is obvious from the
graph
that it is the same
number
in 2015.
While
on the other hand
, after 2030 the
population
growth
of India still
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
till it became 1.600
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
in 2050.
To sum up
, we could say that there is a significantly growing in the
population
of India from 2000 to 2050.
While
the
growth
in China gets lower from 2030 until 2050.
Submitted by abdulhai.alali22 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, growth, number, population with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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