IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers.Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions

#sales #companies #people #money #workers #force #work #factors #consideration #staff #positions
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Money
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 is the biggest source of elements which attracts more and more people to
work
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. Companies should hire those people who are dedicated towards their
work
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 and want to earn more
money
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 from their hard
work
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss about how a common man runs after
money
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 to accomplish their goals and about how the employees should be recruited for a sales
profile
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.
Money
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 is an essential component of life which describes about the status and the position of a
person
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 in a society. To get a better and easy life employees tend to give their best to achieve their desired goals. It is a prime motivator which helps the organizations to get their
work
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 done in the form of targets. Sales position is one of the biggest examples of earning more through achieving more targets. Companies should hire those employees who are hungry for
money
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. If a company hires a
person
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 who is in a need of
money
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,
then
Linking Words
 automatically he'll
work
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 harder to get the
work
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 done.
Also
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,
this
Linking Words
 hunger will lead to the achievement of targets, resulting them to earn more bonuses and commissions. To conclude, in the sales
profile
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 if a
person
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 requires
money
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 to get a better life, he'll give his best to achieve his targets.
Thus
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, proving that
money
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 is the driving force that encourages people to perform better in their jobs to fulfil their dreams. Whether it is a sales
profile
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 or any other
profile
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, companies should focus on the background of a
person
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 before hiring them for their company.
Submitted by vaishalibhardwaj2010 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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