You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a town which is far from your home. Write a letter to the manager of the shop. In your letter: say which electrical goods you want ask questions about the cost of the goods and how to pay explain how you will collect the goods. Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear...

#goods #shop #town #home #manager #questions #cost #addresses

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to enquire if you possibly have some electronic items that I need to purchase. I have tried to find these in the shops in my city.

However

, the options here are very limited and I have not been able to find what I need. The items

what

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

I need are an external Blu-ray drive, preferably Sony, and a Smartphone with a

12 megapixel

Add a hyphen

12-megapixel

show examples

camera. I am

additionally

looking for a printer which combines copying and scanning functions. I would

also

like to know if it is possible to pay online with PayPal or by telephone with a credit card, or if I can pay when I pick up the goods. Once you confirm these items are available, could you please keep them for me at the shop as I would like to collect them in person when I visit the town

week

Change the punctuation

show examples

I would really appreciate it if you could reply to my enquiry as soon as possible. Yours faithfully, Darko

Submitted by darko.abramovic on Sun Sep 29 2019

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

169 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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