IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

It has been seen that these days, some workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women workers. Do you think it is a positive or negative development.

#workplaces #numbers #men #women #workers #development
In present modern era male and female are considered equally and they get equal opportunities in
ever
(used of count nouns) each and all of the members of a group considered singly and without exception
every
 field of
life
.
Form
Suggestion
From
 my
perceptive
Suggestion
perception
 it is a positive growth of females that they get
same offers
Suggestion
the same offers
 in
life
 as the men get in
there
of them or themselves
their
 lives. Nowadays it is in a trend in fewer companies females and male's both genders are working in a same number.
To begin
 with,
firstly
 from my point of
view it
Accept comma addition
view, it
 is
a
Suggestion
an
 optimistic growth of women that they are getting equality and respect
on
Suggestion
in
 their
work place
a place where work is done
workplace
.
Secondly
, women
becomes
Suggestion
become
 independent and they started earning
same salary
Suggestion
the same salary
 which the men got from their employers.
Furthermore
, by giving the chance to women to show their abilities that's faith boosted the moral of every
women
Suggestion
woman
 and
that is
 the reason you can now see the women's at different places working together with men's like in
space shuttle
Suggestion
a space shuttle
the space shuttle
space shuttles
, in big MNC
,
Accept space
,
s and in army forces
also
. It is proved that females are equally capable of doing every task of
life
 by themselves. To put it in the nutshell, I pen down by saying that, females have
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of family responsibilities and they have less time to work on themselves but despite of all the hurdles and hectic
work schedule they
Suggestion
work schedule, they
 show
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of courage, strength and positive attitude towards
life
 and
that is
 the major reason that they are equal in numbers compared to men at
same companies
Suggestion
the same companies
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: