Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Today, whether

violence

Use synonyms

on virtual

world

Use synonyms

has

influence

Suggestion

an influence

on our society harmony has caused a dispute. Among the people, there are some who strongly oppose any violent scene on TV or in games.

Conversely

Linking Words

, there are another bunch of people

can not

cannot

buy that opinion and believe it is not these fierce plots cause the

violence

Use synonyms

problem in our society. Now, I wish to check both points,

then

Linking Words

give my own view. Nowadays, many people are addicted to competition games which involve in a lot of

bloody

Suggestion

blood

and violent situations.

Thus

Linking Words

, objectors have sufficient

reasons believing

Accept comma addition

reasons, believing

these inappropriate settings would affect people’s

behaviors

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

then

Linking Words

damage social security. As an example, players indulging in military games often more likely to mimic the

behaviors

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

of roles in their game

world

Use synonyms

. They dream of using the weapons in the real

world

Use synonyms

, because an imaginary stuff can not make them satisfy. Considering the imitation is one nature of human beings, I really want to echo to

this

Linking Words

point. But people who oppose above view say that

this

Linking Words

claim takes the current situation too seriously and blaming the virtual

world

Use synonyms

violence

Use synonyms

for all the matters in

real

Suggestion

the real world

world

Use synonyms

, is not valid.

That is

Linking Words

because we as humans have our own cognitions and

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

behaviours

behavioural

disciplines.

Hence

Linking Words

, we are not influenced simply by the cruelty and rudeness in a fake scenario. There is no doubt that we can identify the reality and the imagination, while detaching from the latter. In conclusion, I

favor

promote over another

favour

these people who oppose the

violence

Use synonyms

in cyber

world

Use synonyms

, because there are too many negative news about someone committed to crimes due to their intentions of following virtual life activities. When games can not let participants feel content, it is possible that some people seek real stimulus and excitement in their real life.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I do advocate entertainment industry companies should reflect themselves,

then

Linking Words

make their products and services more harmonious and healthy for society development.

gyinghunan

Dec 4, 2019

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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