The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
bar graph illustrates computer ownership by education level between 2002 and 2020 measured by percentage. In 2010, no high
school
was lower than a high
school
graduate
diploma
.
However
, in 2002, the figure for
bachelor
's
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
was more than a college (incomplete) at 90%,
85
Correct word choice
and 85
show examples
% respectively the
trend
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
bachelor
's
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
. Reminded nearly stable between 2010 at 90% and 2002 at 70%. Focusing on 2010, no high
school
diploma
was much more than
2002
Change preposition
in 2002
show examples
at 40% and 15% respectively. Moving on
postgraduate
Change preposition
to postgraduate
show examples
qualification
, in 2010, the
trend
increased to approximately
once fold
Add a hyphen
once-fold
show examples
at 95%, compared to 2002, where it was at 75%.
On the other hand
, the figure for high
school
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
in 2010, was about double times as much as no high
school
diploma
at 70% and 39% respectively.
To sum up
,
overall
Add an article
an overall
show examples
postgraduate
qualification
in 2010, was the greatest,
while
the same survey in 2020 was the largest in the education level of computer ownership.
This
bar graph illustrates computer ownership by education level between 2002 and 2020 measured by percentage. In 2010, no high
school
was lower than a high
school
graduate
diploma
.
However
, in 2002, the figure for
bachelor
's
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
was more than a college (incomplete) at 90%,
85
Correct word choice
and 85
show examples
% respectively the
trend
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
bachelor
's
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
. Reminded nearly stable between 2010 at 90% and 2002 at 70%. Focusing on 2010, no high
school
diploma
was much more than
2002
Change preposition
in 2002
show examples
at 40% and 15% respectively. Moving on
postgraduate
Change preposition
to postgraduate
show examples
qualification
, in 2010, the
trend
increased to approximately
once fold
Add a hyphen
once-fold
show examples
at 95%, compared to 2002, where it was at 75%.
To sum up
,
overall
Add an article
an overall
show examples
postgraduate
qualification
Submitted by essraa.29 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall, to sum up".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words school, diploma, bachelor, degree, trend, qualification with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the ninth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consistent increase
  • growing reliance on technology
  • clear correlation
  • digital divide
  • notable growth
  • most pronounced disparity
  • gap reduced considerably
  • percentage growth
  • higher educational levels
  • educational groups
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