The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012. Summarise information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012. Summarise information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
The graph depicts the
percentage
of
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of male and female academic
staff
members
in the faculties of a top university in the year 2012. The graph takes into consideration seven
branches
of the university : Arts, Business, Education, Engineering, Law, Medicine and Science. It can be observed that in the Engineering branch, the
percentage
of male
staff
members
is the highest(around 82%) as compared to other
branches
,
while
female
Correct article usage
the female
show examples
staff
members
percentage
(around 18%) is the least among other
branches
. The Education branch has
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
percentage
of female
staff
members
(about 75%) compared to
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
(about 24%).
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
Similar
,
Arts
Correct article usage
the Arts
show examples
and Medicines branch's
percentage
of female
staff
is greater than male
staff
.
On the contrary
,
Business
Correct article usage
the Business
show examples
, Engineering, Law, and Science
branches
have more male
staff
members
.
To conclude
, it can
stated
Change the verb form
be stated
state
show examples
that the
percentage
of female academic
staff
accounts more in Arts, Education and Medicine
branches
,
whereas
Business
Correct article usage
the Business
show examples
, Engineering, Law, and Science
branches
have
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
percentage
of male
staff
.
Submitted by chakanmidcplots on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, staff, members, branches with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.

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