IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree?

#employers #holidays #employees #job
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longer
Suggestion
Longer
 breaks from
work
Use synonyms
 given by employers to increase the productivity of workers is not proved beneficial all the
time
Use synonyms
. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 point as
motive
Suggestion
the motive
a motive
 behind working is different for everyone.
some
Suggestion
Some
work
Use synonyms
 for monetary benefits while others for some social aspects
.
Accept space
.
To begin
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 long break from
work
Use synonyms
 may help an individual to maintain balance between family and
work
Use synonyms
. People can spend more
time
Use synonyms
 with friends and family.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 they can even focus on their other interest areas like adventurous trips. It has been observed that sufficient intervals help people to relax and come up with innovative ideas to
inplement
apply in a manner consistent with its purpose or design
implement
 and get a chance to explore the beautiful places of
world
Suggestion
the world
. It has
also
Linking Words
 been observed that
discontinuity
Suggestion
the discontinuity
 of
work
Use synonyms
 for
long interval
Suggestion
long intervals
a long interval
 of
time
Use synonyms
 may create unhappiness or sadness among
people
Suggestion
the people
.
Majority
Suggestion
The majority
 of people come to meet and live
social life
Suggestion
a social life
the social life
 with colleagues. A long rest may develop lonely feeling
.
Accept space
.
 Few of them even get
demotivated
Suggestion
 towards their
work
Use synonyms
 which can affect the productivity that will ultimately bring delay in completion of
project
Suggestion
the project
. Lack of concentration in
Use synonyms
work place
a place where work is done
workplace
 is
also
Linking Words
 a major drawback. Employees take
long
Suggestion
a long time
time
Use synonyms
 to settle back
to
Suggestion
into
 their back
.
Accept space
.
 To conclude, enough number of holidays can build interest towards by achieving the balance in
work
Use synonyms
 and family
.
Accept space
.
 Adequate holidays are essential for human well
neing
the state or fact of existing
being
 as it
enhance
Suggestion
enhances
work
Use synonyms
 life balance. On the other side,
disadvantages
Suggestion
the disadvantages
 of the same cannot be ignored as no employer can take the risk of inefficiency among workers.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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