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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the contribution to different sectors of Indian economy in 1950,1970 and 1990. Summarise the information, by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The graph below shows the contribution to different sectors of Indian economy in 1950,1970 and 1990. Summarise the information, by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
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The bar graph depicts the different
sectors
Use synonyms
contributed
Correct pronoun usage
that contributed
show examples
 to
Indian
Add an article
the Indian
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economy
Use synonyms
 in the year 1950, 1960 and 1970. Where, the
sectors
Use synonyms
 are Industries,
self employment
Add a hyphen
self-employment
show examples
,
Service
Correct article usage
the Service
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 and Agriculture. Industries
economy
Use synonyms
 in the year 1950 was 20%,
were
Correct your spelling
where
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 it rose to 27% in 1970 and fell to 17% in 1990 which has
sudden
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a sudden
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 dip of 10% in
20years
Correct your spelling
20 years
.
Self employment
Add a hyphen
Self-employment
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economy
Use synonyms
 was least among all the
sectors
Use synonyms
 in the year 1950, It
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased to 25% from 7% which is a major boom in 1970, and it followed the same rise and hiked to 37% in 1990 stood as
a
Change the article
the
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 greatest
sector
Use synonyms
 in Contribution.
Although
Linking Words
,
Service
Add an article
the Service
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 had 27% of
Use synonyms
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 in 1950 it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased to 23% in 1970,
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
followed
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
 same fall in 1990
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, which is just 7%. It
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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experienced the greatest fall between 1970 and 1990 compared to other
sectors
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. Agriculture was the biggest
sector
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 in contributing
economy
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 in 1950which was 35%, It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 decreased to 18% in 1970 and to 10% in 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, Industries fluctuated from 20% to 18% it was steady,
although
Linking Words
,
Self employment
Add a hyphen
Self-employment
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 hiked from 7% to 36% which was a major rise among all
sectors
Use synonyms
, Service
sector
Use synonyms
 and Agriculture
sector
Use synonyms
 fell from a high contribution to
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 between 1950 and 1990.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sectors, economy, sector with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sectoral contribution
  • economic base
  • industrialization
  • service-oriented economy
  • diversified economy
  • agriculture sector
  • industrial sector
  • services sector
  • economic policy
  • dominant sector
  • fluctuation
  • transition
  • shift
  • steady increase
  • decreasing trend
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