IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The charts below show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants.

The charts below show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants.
#show #percentage #food #budget #restaurant #meals #different #years #restaurants
The given line graphs
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the number of
meals
 against the fast
food
 and
sitdown
 restaurant for the time period of four years. In overview, both fast
food
 and
sitdown
meals
 started with the same number but fast
food
meals
 increased sharply in each
next
year
.
On the other hand
,
sitdown
Correct your spelling
sit-down
show examples
 restaurant
meals
also
 progressed but
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 speed was
Correct quantifier usage
more steadily
show examples
steadily
Replace the adverb
steady
show examples
 than the fast foods.
Firstly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
meals
 started with the number of 20
meals
 per
year
 in 1970. In the
next
year
, it jumped to 30
meals
. In the
next
 two years,
it’s
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 jumped very sharply
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 55
meals
 in 1990 and 80
meals
 in 2000. On the
second
 side, the
sitdown
Correct your spelling
sit-down
show examples
 restaurant
meals
also
 grow
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
next
year
 but
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 speed was
slow
Replace the word
slower
show examples
 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
meals
. It started
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 20
meals
 per
year
 in 1970, which reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
35
meals
 in 1980.
However
, in the
last
 two years, its ratio was quite similar
such
 as 43 and 45
meals
 per
year
 in 1990 and 2000 respectively.
Submitted by innocentkiran990 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, next, such".
▼
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words meals, food, sitdown, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "jumped" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: