IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia.

The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia.
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With reference
Change preposition
Reference
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the line charts,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 the
contribution
Use synonyms
proportion
Use synonyms
 employment in Freedonia,
according to
Linking Words
 gender bases. And the differences between
that
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
 happen between 1975 and 1995. we can notice from the charts, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 great
Use synonyms
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
show examples
 for women
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 in
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 sector (non-defence) .
According to
Linking Words
 the charts, we
also
Linking Words
 can
noticed
Change the verb form
notice
show examples
 that
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 manufacturing sector the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
 are the same between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1975 and 1995.
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 around 640000 and 300000 respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 women increase sharply in wholesale and retail trade in the year 1995 and
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 exceed the
contribution
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 men by 800000 and 75000 respectively . In conclusion, there's a
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuating
show examples
contribution
Use synonyms
 for both gender in all
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
, but
also
Linking Words
 we can
noticed
Change the verb form
notice
show examples
 that the
proportion
Use synonyms
contribution
Use synonyms
 for women during the thirteen years increased, and their share in GDP became more in
Republic
Correct article usage
the Republic
show examples
 of Freedonia.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, also".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words contribution, proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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