IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 consumed by people in six
diversity
Replace the word
diverse
show examples
regions
Use synonyms
 namely North
America
Use synonyms
, South
America
Use synonyms
, Europe, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 are demonstrated in the pie charts
according to
Linking Words
 the type of purposes which are industrial
use
Use synonyms
, agricultural
use
Use synonyms
 and domestic
use
Use synonyms
.
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
 an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective,
while
Linking Words
 people have mostly preferred to consume for agricultural
use
Use synonyms
 in Africa, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
, South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 and South
America
Use synonyms
, citizens of North
America
Use synonyms
 and Europe utilize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
about half of
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
. In North
America
Use synonyms
 and Europe, the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 consumed is domestic
use
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 13% and 15%,
although
Linking Words
 the highest
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 is shown in industrial
use
Use synonyms
 at 48% and 535, respectively. Agricultural uses have nearly the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 approximately 30% which is
Linking Words
third
Correct article usage
a third
show examples
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 consumed in other
regions
Use synonyms
 as.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 is the industrial field in the given other
regions
Use synonyms
 with nearly 10% and under, whilst the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of agricultural uses of
water
Use synonyms
 has a vast of
water
Use synonyms
 used with about 80% in those
regions
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, water, regions, america, asia, use with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
What to do next:
Look at other essays: