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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english #information #features #comparisons
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The charts show the proportions of British
students
Use synonyms
 at a University in England who can speak other languages as a secondary
language
Use synonyms
 in
Change the article
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the
students
Use synonyms
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
preferred to speak
Spanish
Change the article
the Spanish
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 in both years. As per observation, in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2000, there are 20%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
know no other languages
while
Linking Words
 in 2010
this
Linking Words
 ratio
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased and became the least among all.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in the case of French as a secondary
language
Use synonyms
, it reduced by 5% in 2010 and reached 10%, which is exactly the same as
German
Change the article
the German
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 in 2010 and 2000. There are some
students
Use synonyms
 who have the skills to speak two other languages and as per the
charts
Add a comma
,charts
show examples
this
Linking Words
 kind of interest has developed with time and reached 15% in 2010. The majority of the
students
Use synonyms
 speak
Spanish
Change the article
the Spanish
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 as there is
also
Linking Words
 a marginal increment in numbers: 30% in 2000 and 35% in 2010. One out of three
students
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 preferred to speak another
language
Use synonyms
 in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, language with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportions" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • multilingual
  • linguistic competence
  • significant
  • trend
  • increase/decrease
  • stable
  • popularity
  • relatively
  • decade
  • compare/contrast
  • survey
  • data
  • fluent
  • proficient
  • bilingual
  • predominant
  • minority
  • emerge
  • dwindle
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