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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparson

Some people The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparson
The given tabular graphs represent the proportion of British
students
Use synonyms
 who can speak other languages apart from English, at one university in England, in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2000 and 2010.
This
Linking Words
 passage will highlight on main features. In
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
graphs
show examples
graph
Add a comma
,graph
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 are divided into 6 different types,
Such
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 who speak only one
language
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 French, Spanish or German and
Use synonyms
Student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
show examples
 who can speak another,
two
Use synonyms
 other or even no other
language
Use synonyms
. In
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2000,
Student
Use synonyms
 who speak only
German
Correct article usage
the German
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 and
student
Use synonyms
 who speak
two
Use synonyms
 other languages
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 given
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10%,
whereas
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 who can speak only French and
students
Use synonyms
 who can speak another
language
Use synonyms
 is given to be 15%.
Remaining
Correct article usage
The remaining
show examples
two
Use synonyms
 are
students
Use synonyms
 who speak no other
language
Use synonyms
 which is about 20% and
Use synonyms
language
Correct article usage
the language
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 spoken mostly by
Use synonyms
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 is Spanish which is about 30%. In comparison to 2000,
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 given for each type has changed a lot. As we see
this
Linking Words
 year,
Use synonyms
student
Add an article
a student
the student
show examples
 who speaks No other
language
Use synonyms
 and French has shrunk to 10% each from 20% and 15%. The German
language
Use synonyms
 is spoken equally by 10%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who speak
two
Use synonyms
 other languages, Another
language
Use synonyms
 and Spanish
language
Use synonyms
 have increased from 10%, 15% and 30% to 15%, 20% and 35% respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is, whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, language, student, two with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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