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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart
ilustrates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 five levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of men and women who get that score in 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, the man who was in
skilled
Correct article usage
the skilled
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 vocational diploma had
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 grades with almost 90%,
while
Linking Words
 the woman who was in the same program had
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
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 score by nearly 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.
Besides
Linking Words
, the post-school that was better qualifications
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 females was
undergraduate
Correct article usage
an undergraduate
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 diploma with close to 70%,
whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 level
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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had
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 marks
in
Change preposition
for
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 males.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
according
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toaccording
show examples
 the chart, in bachelor’s degree, both gender had likely qualifications with a proportion of almost 50%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the information shows that
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 postgraduate
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
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 and master’s degree man achieve best marks than
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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 by under 70% and less than 60% respectively ,
while
Linking Words
 female
get
Change the verb form
gets
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in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 that program
near by
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
 30% and
sligthly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 under 40%, approximately.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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