IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below shows the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below shows the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These pie charts are illustrating information about the
approximately
Change the adverb
approximate
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
breakfast
Use synonyms
,
dinner
Use synonyms
,
lunch
Use synonyms
 and
snacks
Use synonyms
 in three types of minerals in the United State, which are not good for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health if there is a high consumption.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 sodium and saturated fat were the highest
segment
Change the noun form
segments
show examples
 of the chart in the
dinner
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 added sugar was the largest segment in
snacks
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
breakfast
Use synonyms
 was merely the same
amount
Use synonyms
 in the three
nutriments
Correct your spelling
nutrients
show examples
. The highest
percentage
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 sodium was 43% in
dinner
Use synonyms
, which was double the
amount
Use synonyms
 of added sugar in
dinner
Use synonyms
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
Linking Words
 place was
Lunch
Use synonyms
, with 29%.
This
Linking Words
 was nearly the same
amount
Use synonyms
 of saturated fat in
Lunch
Use synonyms
.
Breakfast
Use synonyms
 and
Snacks
Use synonyms
 remained the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 in Sodium, with 14%. The largest segment in saturated fat was
dinner
Use synonyms
 with 37%.
Lunch
Use synonyms
 experienced a
percentage
Use synonyms
 of 26%, which was 10% larger than
breakfast
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
snacks
Use synonyms
 showed a number of 21%.
Finally
Linking Words
,
snacks
Use synonyms
considered
Add a missing verb
are considered
show examples
 the most added sugar, with 42%.
Dinner
Use synonyms
 concluded about half the
amount
Use synonyms
, with 23%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
lunch
Use synonyms
 and
breakfast
Use synonyms
 were relatively the same
Use synonyms
amount
Change the noun form
amounts
show examples
, with 19% and 16%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, breakfast, dinner, lunch, snacks, amount with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: