Nowadays children watch lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is indeed that the technology has a predominant influence on the society, especially the young generation. Some intellectuals opine that the exorbitant exploitation of television and computer
Use synonyms
game
by Fix the agreement mistake
games
the
adolescents might sabotage their psychological fitness. If asked, I agree Correct article usage
apply
the
above notion of a large instant and my supporting arguments are given Change preposition
with the
further
.
Linking Words
To begin
with, the most detrimental effect of the above notion is that the children become more depressed and violent Linking Words
due to
the broadcast of programs related to crime and glamour. Linking Words
Such
practices are influencing the youth to earn a fortune overnight with the help of offensive activities. Linking Words
Moreover
, many fighting Linking Words
games
create virtual tasks for the pupils to compete and win the Use synonyms
game
. If they cannot complete Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
task
; they tend to be in a depression which is Correct article usage
a task
very
worrying thing for their mental Add an article
a very
health
. Use synonyms
For instance
, recently, a child Linking Words
had
committed suicide Unnecessary verb
apply
to compete
Change preposition
while competing
on
Change preposition
in
task
Correct article usage
a task
of
Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
a
game
called Use synonyms
blue shark
. Correct your spelling
Blue Shark
Thus
, inappropriate Linking Words
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
of
TV and Change preposition
on
games
Use synonyms
push
Correct subject-verb agreement
pushes
the
teenagers towards Correct article usage
apply
the
saviour trouble.
Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, these offensive Linking Words
games
and programs on Use synonyms
the
television make them Correct article usage
apply
short tempered
and less Add a hyphen
short-tempered
socialise
. Wrong verb form
socialised
Hence
, the emotional Linking Words
health
of these pupils would degrade. The addiction Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
games
and TV Use synonyms
also
make the lifestyle of the children more sedentary; less physical activity might obstruct their all-round development. Linking Words
For example
, a survey conducted on Linking Words
the
pupils under 16 years Correct article usage
apply
in
America revealed that Correct word choice
old in
two third
of Correct your spelling
two-thirds
the
video Correct article usage
apply
game
addictive students are suffering from Use synonyms
the
obesity. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, the degradation in emotional and physical Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
integrated
with their mental Add a missing verb
is integrated
health
and brings disaster in future.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, if the technology is not used wisely, it may act as a demon. The youngsters are not aware enough Linking Words
about
the utilization of technology Change preposition
of
such
as television and Linking Words
games
, which is dangerous for their psyche. The parents and teachers should guide them to avoid Use synonyms
such
addiction.Linking Words
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
For task response, provide a more balanced view on the topic and ensure that the supporting arguments are clearly linked to the writer's stance.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization and coherence of the essay by using clearer transition words and structuring paragraphs more effectively.