Nowadays children watch lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #tv #video #games #people #activities #child’s #health

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recent times, technology has uncertainly affected

person’s

Fix the agreement mistake

people’s

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

by introducing new gadgets which attract most

Change preposition

apply

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenagers

providing

Change preposition

by providing

show examples

recreational and amusement

programs

Use synonyms

. Some people opine that the use of

such

Linking Words

an instrument would be detrimental to the growth of

mind

Correct article usage

the mind

show examples

in the blooming. I strongly disagree

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

point by giving

argument

Add an article

an argument

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in the below paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the most important reason is that TV provides a number of different

programs

Use synonyms

which, provides information about the nation. Even some broadcast uses the latest technology, which

also

Linking Words

helps them to know about the advancement in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

science.

For example

Linking Words

, there are many

programs

Use synonyms

running on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television

such

Linking Words

as Britania

Champion ship

Correct your spelling

Championship

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, which covers the quiz. By watching

such

Linking Words

programs

Use synonyms

the child can increase their intelligence and acquire

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

enlightenment about the globe.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

type of

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

helps the children to rejuvenate from their regular study.

Although

Linking Words

, provides a new way of learning which attracts them to continue

the

Change the word

their

show examples

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

would be beneficial in the

later

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

future.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Because of the internet availability many different

games

Use synonyms

are available in the market.

This

Linking Words

type of

Use synonyms

games

Fix the agreement mistake

game

show examples

also

Linking Words

helps in to escalation of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

concentration;

helps

Correct word choice

and helps

show examples

during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

academic work. Some of the

games

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

require

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

decision and analytic thinking as per the opponent

player

Change noun form

player's

show examples

action.

For instance

Linking Words

, chess is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

game which helps an individual in the growth of the mind and

raise

Correct subject-verb agreement

raises

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

concentration.

Thus

Linking Words

games

Use synonyms

are the medium that serves the happiness

Change preposition

show examples

the children and for the mind

Fix the infinitive

to grows

show examples

grows

Correct subject-verb agreement

grow

show examples

. In conclusion, electronic gadgets

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

some detrimental

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

on the child’s vision abilities, but, would provide many merits.

Therefore

Linking Words

, teenagers would become elated and

give their

Verb problem

pay

show examples

more attention to their studies. The government should promote some educational

programs

Use synonyms

Sat Mar 28 2020

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction is weak and does not clearly state your position on the topic. Make sure to clearly present your argument in the introduction.

Task Achievement

Your essay does not fully address the question. You need to present a clear position and provide detailed arguments and examples to support it. Also, be sure to organize your ideas logically throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

You need to work on providing specific and relevant examples to support your points. Additionally, focus on organizing your ideas in a logical structure to improve coherence and cohesion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Nowadays children watch lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

We should return to traditional and older values of respect for family and community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In a number of countries around the world, income inequality is a growing issue. What are the causes of income inequality and how it can be dealt with?