IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the proportion of Australian workers
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 men and women in each
age
Use synonyms
 group choosing
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 job in 2010. It is clearly seen that the rate of
Change the article
the number
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number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
women from 15 to 44
age
Use synonyms
 increased slowly around from 48
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 52
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. There was a steady static in the value of
female
Correct article usage
the female
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 group from 35 to 64 with about 52
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and the former slightly decrease from 52 to 47
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 when they are over 65 years old. Different from
Add an article
the girl
a girl
show examples
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
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, the percentage of boys from 15 to 34 years old dropped sharply around 11
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2010. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a mild fluctuation
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 3
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the proportion of women choosing
physical
Add an article
a physical
show examples
 activity from 25 to 54
age
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, It tended to grow consistently
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 1
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 from 45 to over 65
age
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Australian men
  • Australian women
  • Age groups
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participated
  • Increased
  • Decreased
  • Proportion
  • Physically active
  • Gender difference
  • Engaged
  • Exercise
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