IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century.

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century.
This
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 chart informs about the
contribution
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 of three sectors ,agriculture, manufacturing and business, and financial services – to the UK
economy
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 from 1990 until 2000. In general, the trend of all three types of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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contribution
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 to the
economy
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, there has been significant fluctuation but a considerable point
that is
Linking Words
 agriculture, in the first half of
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century
Correct article usage
the century
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 had most sectors influenced
in
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by
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 U.K. economic development but
in contrast
Linking Words
at the end
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 of the
century
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 in the late twentieth
century
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, business and financial sector was the major contributor of the
economy
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. Agriculture in the first 25 years there was
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 steeply and after that in over 75 years decrease dramatically
due to
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 informed 2 % in 2000. Manufacturing during the period there has been no increase,
on the other hand
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,
this
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 rate falls gradually from 45% to15%.
Business
Correct article usage
The business
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 and financial services sector increased significantly by the end of the year reaching 30
percent
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per cent
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contribution
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whereas
Linking Words
 in the
firs
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first
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 of the
century
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 has had the least
contribution
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 to the
economy
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words contribution, economy, century with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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