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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century.

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century.
#contribution #three #sectors #agriculture #business #services #uk #economy #century
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This
 chart informs about the
contribution
 of three sectors ,agriculture, manufacturing and business, and financial services – to the UK
economy
 from 1990 until 2000. In general, the trend of all three types of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contribution
 to the
economy
, there has been significant fluctuation but a considerable point
that is
 agriculture, in the first half of
century
Correct article usage
the century
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 had most sectors influenced
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 U.K. economic development but
in contrast
at the end
 of the
century
 in the late twentieth
century
, business and financial sector was the major contributor of the
economy
. Agriculture in the first 25 years there was
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 steeply and after that in over 75 years decrease dramatically
due to
 informed 2 % in 2000. Manufacturing during the period there has been no increase,
on the other hand
,
this
 rate falls gradually from 45% to15%.
Business
Correct article usage
The business
show examples
 and financial services sector increased significantly by the end of the year reaching 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
contribution
whereas
 in the
firs
Correct your spelling
first
show examples
 of the
century
 has had the least
contribution
 to the
economy
.
Submitted by sepinood.iph on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words contribution, economy, century with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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