IELTS WRITING Task 1. The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists who visited Brighton attractions in England from 1980 to 2010.

IELTS WRITING Task 1. The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists who visited Brighton attractions in England from 1980 to 2010.
The given line chart depicts the share of
tourists
who visited Brighton attractions for the
period
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
1980 and 2010.
Overall
, nearly all four indices exchanged their trends and were seen
upwarding
Correct your spelling
upward
dynamics.
Nevertheless
, the data
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
Gallery is
exception
Add an article
an exception
the exception
show examples
here and the proportion of Pavilion was
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
dominant
at the end
of the
period
.
Initially
, Brighton Festival was the most visited attraction in 1980 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
rate of 30%. From 1980 till 1995 the number of
tourists
who visited Brighton Festival fluctuated slightly,
then
stayed steady at 25%. The percentage of Art Gallery increased sharply until 1986, afterwards it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
witnessed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
moderate decline from 38% to 8% in the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists
visited in Art Gallery for the
period
.
Similarly
, the rate of Pavilion by
quantity
Add an article
the quantity
show examples
of
tourists
rose dramatically till 1995 from 22% to 49%,
then
dropped considerably to 32%
at the end
of the
period
. The trend for the Pier
was
Change the verb form
has also seen
show examples
also
seen a fluctuation that doubled approximately from 10% to 21% in 1980 and 2010 respectively.
Submitted by mmarhabo27 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: