IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #population #figures #japan #summarise #features #comparisons
Overall
, from 1950 to 2005, Japan's
population
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased modestly .
After
Change preposition
From
show examples
 2005 to 2015,
this
population
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased slowly and
then
 predicts are said that Japan's
population
 will be falling in the future. In 2055, their
population
 could be 89.9
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 less
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than
1950's
Correct article usage
the 1950's
show examples
population
 ( 84.1
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
).
Japanese
Replace the word
Japan
show examples
 have
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population
 in 2005 which is 127.8
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Also
, in
table
Add an article
the table
a table
show examples
,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 aged 65 years or over
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose
Change the verb form
risen
show examples
 between 1950 and 2055
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 shows us there will be more old people in Japan in the future years. In 2035, the number of older people will be the highest number in
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 , it will be 37.2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Furthermore
, there will be
10
Correct article usage
a 10
show examples
 times difference between
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of older people who are 65 years or over, in 1950 and in 2055.
Submitted by refiasueda on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: