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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weakness. Is it right to exclude males and females from certain professions because of their gender?

#women #men #strengths #weakness #right #males #females #professions #gender
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Men and women should not be excluded on the basis of gender from certain professions. Unlike other men, females may have both
strengths
Suggestion
strength
 and
weakness but
Accept comma addition
weakness, but
 should not be prohibited for occupation because the
wiling
disposed or inclined toward
willing
wailing
-power is more important to achieve goal or to get work done rather strengths. Nowadays, women are grown-up with
strong mentality
Suggestion
a strong mentality
 and
intelligency
the ability to comprehend; to understand and profit from experience
intelligence
 as well, so that they are capable to the group in a good way.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
female
Suggestion
the female
 seems better understanding with the stakeholders. As
a
Suggestion
an
 example, a report published by the Forbes Magazine recently, there are three
females
Suggestion
female
 entrepreneur out of five selected under thirty entrepreneur from Nepal. It is not advisable
to
Suggestion
for
 employers to hire only a male employee just because of gender because
woman
Suggestion
the woman
 seems quite more responsible on their duties and subordinates and senior as well. A survey conducted by the Oxford University in 2018, found that 40 % of most prestigious awarded companies have
female CEO
Suggestion
female CEOs
a female CEO
. In conclusion, male and female should not be excluded for their occupation because it is believed that higher willing power make them more responsible towards their
duties and
Accept comma addition
duties, and
 they can achieve a professional goals in their interested field of occupation which reflect (lead) a company to the success.
Submitted by ishuk1751 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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