IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries employees are generally given two weeks of paid vacation time each year. In other countries employers are given four or six weeks of paid vacation time. Considering the need of both employee and employer, what do you think is a reasonable amount of paid vacation time for employees to have? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Depending on the countries
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 law and other regulations, some countries provide employees with
two
Use synonyms
 weeks of annual paid leave whereas others grant
four
Use synonyms
 to
six
Use synonyms
 weeks. In my opinion,
two
Use synonyms
 weeks of paid annual
vacation
Use synonyms
is
Suggestion
are
 a good
amount
Use synonyms
 to be offered from both employers and
employees
Suggestion
employee's
employee
perspective
Use synonyms
. From
employees’
Suggestion
the employees’ perspective
perspective
Use synonyms
, sufficient
amount
Use synonyms
 of
vacation
Use synonyms
 is required to maintain
work
Use synonyms
 life balance. The working environment is quite stressful
in
Suggestion
at
present time
Suggestion
the present time
 and often lead to exhaustion among workers.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Japan death related to
work
Use synonyms
 stress is so high that it is considered to be a serious social problem. A moderate
amount
Use synonyms
 of break from
work
Use synonyms
, which is
two
Use synonyms
 weeks, could be really useful to avoid
such
Linking Words
 instance. Some may argue that, there are weekly holidays to relieve stress.
However
Linking Words
, weekly holidays are not enough
as
Suggestion
at
 the time is very limited and doesn’t give you to chance to engage in any travel related activities.
Again taking
Accept comma addition
Again, taking
 long time
vacation
Use synonyms
 like
four
Use synonyms
 to
six
Use synonyms
 weeks is not often useful from
employees’
Suggestion
the employees’ perspective
perspective
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
. Being absent from
office longer period
Suggestion
the office longer period
 not only will increase job
pressure but
Accept comma addition
pressure, but
also
Linking Words
 will hamper
natural
Suggestion
the natural work flow
work
Use synonyms
 flow when he/she returns from
vacation
Use synonyms
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand from
Accept comma addition
hand, from
employers’
Suggestion
the employers’ perspective
perspective
Use synonyms
,
two
Use synonyms
 weeks paid annual
vacation
Use synonyms
 seems to be practical.
This
Linking Words
 minimum level of
vacation
Use synonyms
 will
reenergize
cause to be alert and energetic
energize
 the
employee
Use synonyms
 and increase job satisfaction. A satisfied, stress free worker is an indispensable requirement for an
organizations
Suggestion
organization
 to maximize their profit level.
Linking Words
Besides
Accept comma addition
Besides, instead
instead
Linking Words
 of
four
Use synonyms
 weeks to
six
Use synonyms
 weeks
vacation
Use synonyms
, allowing
two
Use synonyms
 weeks’
vacation
Use synonyms
 will
also
Linking Words
 prove to be functional for companies in terms of cost effectiveness. An
employee
Use synonyms
 takes on
Use synonyms
vacation but
Accept comma addition
vacation, but
 in most cases his works doesn’t. In many cases, companies have to hire temporary workers to cover the
work
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
employee
Suggestion
an employee
the employee
 who is on holiday. The longer the
vacation
Use synonyms
, the higher the cost, and the greater the disruption of normal office works. In conclusion, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of allowable
Use synonyms
vacation whether
Accept comma addition
vacation, whether
 it is
two
Use synonyms
week
Suggestion
weeks
,
four
Use synonyms
 weeks or
six
Use synonyms
weeks largely depends
Suggestion
weeks, largely depend
weeks largely depend
 on that country regulation
also
Linking Words
 individual organizations management and policies. Having said
this
Linking Words
, a
two
Use synonyms
 week of minimum
vacation
Use synonyms
 considering both employer and
employee
Use synonyms
perspective
Use synonyms
 is practical in current times.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • employee well-being
  • productivity
  • loyalty
  • creativity
  • problem-solving abilities
  • cultural norms
  • expectations
  • attract
  • retain
  • competitive job markets
  • minimum vacation time
  • policies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: