the charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010

the charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010
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The picture demonstrates the rate of English
students
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who were could able to communicate in
others
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other languages
show examples
language
Use synonyms
in 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, in both recorded
time
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times
show examples
,
Spanish
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learners took most of the
students
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. In ten years, it can
be see
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be seen
show examples
that
students
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who can speak German’s percentage didn’t change at all
compare
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compared
show examples
to
other
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others
show examples
. The year 2000 was the time
where
Correct word choice
when
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one fifth
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one-fifth
show examples
of the
students
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in British can only
spoke
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speak
show examples
their mother tongue but it reduced by half in a decade.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
of
students
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who could see speak German was equal in both years at 10%. Compare to ten years ago, French learners dropped by 5% to 10% in 2010.
Spanish
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,
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language
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a language
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that other
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then
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than
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listed and
student
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students
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that achieved two
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language
Change to a plural noun
languages
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communicating
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communication
show examples
all went up by 5%. At the start of the
21th
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21st
show examples
century, 30% of British
students
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had
the
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apply
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fluency
at
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in
show examples
Spanish
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, the rate of
students
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that know two languages was
one
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one-third
show examples
third
Linking Words
to
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of
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the
Spanish
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learner.
Students
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that can take advantage
in
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of
show examples
language
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that is
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not German, French or
Spanish
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had
the
Correct article usage
a
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rate
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
15%.
Submitted by trang140601 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, language, spanish with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • British students
  • university
  • speaking other languages
  • language proficiency
  • overall trends
  • comparison
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • chart
  • data
  • percentage
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • noteworthy
  • comparative analysis
  • improvement
  • decline
  • conclusion
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