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Band 4

Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #tv #video #games #people #activities #child #health
In the high-tech era, the technology has become very popular around the world. As it has made many features for the growth of humans. Some people say that
children
 watch a lot of
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 and play games.
While
,
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apply
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 others notion that these
activities
 are not good in order to a child's health development. I agree with the given hook. I would like to explain both the viewpoints
as well as
 why
children
 act
these
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on these
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 skills in the following paragraphs. To commence with, there are lots of causes behind
this
 phenomenon. First of all,
children
 have no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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effective
activities
, which they can
take
Verb problem
do
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. Because, parents work outside, where they spend too much time. And
children
 have enough
of
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apply
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demands.
Secondly
, the technology is
also
 playing a considerable role. As it has made many factors.
Such
 as
computer
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computers
show examples
, mobile, television and many more. Kids spend more time on these features. On the flip side, certain individuals think that it is not good for the development of
children
.
Firstly
,
its
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it's
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waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 time of
children
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for children
show examples
.
For example
, when a person plays video games and
watch
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watches
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tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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 a lot. Because of
this
, they
unable
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are unable
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 to take other
activities
.
Last
 not but least, there are many times when their parents say to
children
 do other
activities
.
Children
 do not take,
because
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it because
show examples
 it influences
on
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apply
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their
mind
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minds
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.
To conclude
, even though kids
see
Verb problem
watch
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 television a lot and play video games,
but
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apply
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it is very important
do
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to do
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 other tasks, because it helps find the
ability
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abilities
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 of
children
.
Submitted by Bobby on

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Task Response
Ensure that the introduction clearly introduces the topic and presents the writer's position. Provide a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences and supporting details. Use transition words to link ideas and ensure coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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