Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #tv #video #games #people #activities #child #health

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In the high-tech era, the technology has become very popular around the world. As it has made many features for the growth of humans. Some people say that

children

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watch a lot of

Correct your spelling

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and play games.

While

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apply

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others notion that these

activities

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are not good in order to a child's health development. I agree with the given hook. I would like to explain both the viewpoints

as well as

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why

children

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act

these

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on these

show examples

skills in the following paragraphs. To commence with, there are lots of causes behind

this

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phenomenon. First of all,

children

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have no

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

effective

activities

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, which they can

take

Verb problem

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. Because, parents work outside, where they spend too much time. And

children

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have enough

Change preposition

apply

show examples

demands.

Secondly

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, the technology is

also

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playing a considerable role. As it has made many factors.

Such

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computer

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computers

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, mobile, television and many more. Kids spend more time on these features. On the flip side, certain individuals think that it is not good for the development of

children

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Firstly

Linking Words

its

Correct your spelling

it's

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waste

Correct article usage

a waste

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time of

Use synonyms

children

Change preposition

for children

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, when a person plays video games and

watch

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watches

show examples

Correct your spelling

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a lot. Because of

this

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, they

unable

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are unable

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to take other

activities

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Last

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not but least, there are many times when their parents say to

children

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do other

activities

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Children

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do not take,

because

Correct pronoun usage

it because

show examples

it influences

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

To conclude

Linking Words

, even though kids

see

Verb problem

watch

show examples

television a lot and play video games,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

it is very important

Add the particle

to do

show examples

other tasks, because it helps find the

ability

Fix the agreement mistake

abilities

show examples

children

Use synonyms

Submitted by Bobby on Thu May 28 2020

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Task Response

Ensure that the introduction clearly introduces the topic and presents the writer's position. Provide a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points of the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences and supporting details. Use transition words to link ideas and ensure coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many products that we buy are made in other countries. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon.

at the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people. do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other . Others believe people have become more independent . Discuss both views and give your own opinion.