IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

#level #positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #percent #percentage #women
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In corporate offices, a lot of high profile positions are managed by male authorities even though more than half of the working staff is female in developed countries.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the fact that corporate should allot a specific percentage of managerial positions to women and I agree to
this
Linking Words
 statement. A famous proverb saying that ’Womens’s are the best creation of God’. The primary reason that why companies should allot some specific percentage of positions to female because of their analytical thinking, behaviour and I agree to the statement because in my opinion they are very smart thinker and they analyse every aspect of business in a technical way keeping in mind both pros and cons of the deal.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, Chanda Koccher, the CEO OF ICICI BANK INDIA has left the world astonished by their remarkable journey in the banking sector.
In addition
Linking Words
, every sector in the world is ruled by the women
for
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
 Lata Mangeshkar the singing sensation, Smriti Irani in the political sector. Another reason that why an organization should focus on hiring a female workforce is because of their hard working,
loyalty
Suggestion
loyal
 and extreme patience nature. They know very well how to tackle the difficult situations at times and bring out with them each possible solution. Women’s are no way less to the men in handling high profile positions.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
 Nita Ambani
,
Accept space
,
 being the principle of Ambani school has set an
example
Use synonyms
 that a homemaker can
also
Linking Words
 run a big entrepreneur. To conclude, In my believe Corporates should give few high positions to women
also
Linking Words
 as they are equally competent
in contrast
Linking Words
 to men.
Submitted by paru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: