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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers. Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions?

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Some companies believe that dedication of workers can be purchased through
money
 when they are hungry for
money
. While
money
 plays a vital role in worker's satisfaction, I strongly disagree with
this
 argument because sales employees should be recruited by their skills and experiences to dedicate for institution
instead
 of just
money
. On the
one
 hand, there is basis ground for the view that hunger for
money
 is essential for the
person
 applying in sales department. In fact, the amount of remuneration to be received will be greater if the employee is dedicated to the job. A
person
 would try to boost his or her sales. Urge for the
money
 would insist a
person
 to be an industrious
one
.
For instance
, employee financial returns will be an incentive for sales people to work harder and sell more.
On the other hand
, there are numerous elements which effect on employing decision for sales positions.
Firstly
, sales skills should be concerned when employers recruit. The
person
 should be able to approach customer and must have ability to make the customer think that he or she needs a specific product.
As a result
, it is easy for them to sell products.
Secondly
, sales people need to have passion and experience. Having a basic interest in the topic, they are willing to learn openly. They are motivations for a
person
 to do his or her best. Salary is only an additional factor contributing to
this
 process.
For example
, a study conducted by the University of Manchester says that as salaries rise, people tend to feel less passionate about their jobs.
Thus
,
this
 clearly shows that
money
 cannot create a specialized workforce. In conclusion,
although
 the monetary benefit is
one
 of the essentials for hard work and urge of
money
 for a
person
 is
one
 of the criteria to hire a salesman, I suppose other characteristics are equally important.
Submitted by Đức Long trinh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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