Many high level positions in companies is filled by the men but the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extend do you agree?

#level #positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #percent #percentage #women

Nowadays, the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent

female but

Accept comma addition

female, but

only men hold many high level positions in companies.

However

, according to recent researches, more women as successful leader than men. Women have several advantages over men.

First

of all, the women can have empathy for other ones.

Also

, they have ability to recognize emotion, understand other people’s perspectives on a situation. It’s easy for them to get effective methods to identify and meet customer,

patner

a person's partner in marriage

partner

, colleague needs.

Besides

, it’s one of

good

Suggestion

the best

the better

skills

Suggestion

skill

to connect, get closer to each other. That

advandge

the quality of having a superior or more favorable position

advantage

support the women who build a stable, enthusiasm staff for company.

Secondly

, meticulous is

Suggestion

essential skill in all work. Women usually pay attention to

smallest details

Suggestion

the smallest details

which are important things produces better results because they can reduce mistakes. In

daly

every day; without missing a day

daily

life, we often feel comfortable when we meet a tailor, a hairdresser carefully, or we do business with a thorough partner.

Moreover

, women’s

merticulousness

strict attention to minute details

meticulousness

have

Suggestion

has

affect

Suggestion

affected

other staffs. In conclusion, I think women in high-level positions are not only important to gender equality

issues but

Accept comma addition

issues, but

also

has positive implication for the development of these countries and businesses.

Submitted by Andy on Sun Aug 16 2020

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

195 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many high level positions in companies is filled by the men but the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extend do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?