Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #behaviour #action

Nowadays, many people end up borrowing money from other people or even the bank, because they are regularly buying

unecessary

Correct your spelling

unnecessary

stuff that they are not able to afford. There are a number of solutions to

takle

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tackle

take

this

problem.

Fisrt

Correct your spelling

First

of all, due to the accurate high

thecnhology

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technology

provided by computers and cellphones

Add a comma

show examples

we have the possibility to purchase any kind of items we want just by searching websites and pressing one simple button. I strongly

bielieve

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believe

that being able to buy new products online is the main reason why people are

constently

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constantly

getting into debts, mostly because of how easy and comfortable

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

online shopping is. That being said, I

also

understand that there are a

percentege

Correct your spelling

percentage

of people who still not appreciate the online shop or even have some difficulties to do so.

However

, there are two different ways to solve the problem, one of them is teaching finance education in high school, where teenagers can

devolpe

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develop

the

abillity

Correct your spelling

ability

to control their own money and understand how huge and important the

responsability

Correct your spelling

responsibility

of calculating their expends can be.

Furthermore

, another way to

takle

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tackle

take

the issue could be by changing the

exagereted

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exaggerated

consumism

Correct your spelling

consumerism

culture

that is

rooted in most countries, the

govermment

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government

should lead the society towards a different path of less expending and more saving. The implement of these solutions should be an effective way to eliminate the issue. In conclusion, having

finace

Correct your spelling

finance

education in high schools due to lead teenagers to the right path and increase level of information about the problem to the citizens so they can change habits are two examples of ways to deal with the issue.

Submitted by maffeo.sabrina on Thu Oct 08 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is the positive or negative development?

Student should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree

More and more people are expected to be living in urban centres in the future. What problems will this cause? Should the government encourage people to settle outside the city?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

How does Fitzpatrick demonstrate that a poem is a site of confrontations?