IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Question:-Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#-some #people #debt #don’t #can’t #behaviour #action
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Despite some person’s lending
money
Use synonyms
 from others to buy unnecessary stuff not only they couldn’t afford but unusable
also
Linking Words
.The main reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is advertisements become persuaded them to purchase new things and the solution for
this
Linking Words
 his government educate them
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
how to save
money
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, these days human beings lured to promotions and it might make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
purchase many things even they don't
needed
Change the verb form
need
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
,advertising manipulates
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
individuals for buying their products in order to increase
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
consumer rates.Meanwhile,media and social networking sites
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a major role to impose the people to run through the promotions.
For instance
Linking Words
,All the Banks provides credit cards for the people who have
a
Add an article
an
show examples
ccount to increase their profits.So,they are consuming these cards to buy off the things from the market.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the main solution for
this
Linking Words
 behaviours
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 to educate
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
individuals from spending
money
Use synonyms
for
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
 unwanted items.
Furthermore
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
the government should make some funding system to save
money
Use synonyms
further
Linking Words
.It might get an awareness them how to prohibit these kinds of purchases as well.
For instance
Linking Words
,if the bank gives special schemes to prevent the use of credit cards,it would be helpful for them to tackle the problems. In conclusion,the main causes of debts in individuals will be the advertisements and they should get to know the dangers of
expensing
Correct your spelling
expending
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 for unnecessary things.
Submitted by smithatytus63 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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