IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that employers should give staff at least four weeks holiday per year to improve their job performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #employers #staff #four #weeks #holiday #year #job #performance
In
this
 day and age, employees suffer from chronic stress and anxiety due to overwhelming workload. That’s why offering a long vacation to workers is believed to promote their performance at workplaces. I partly agree with
this
 point of view; while
this
 solution helps staff be more inspired to
work
, its potential drawbacks could not be ignored.
To begin
 with, prolonging holidays has significant positive impacts on the workers’ efficiency.
First
, enjoying a long break allows them to rejuvenate. Evidently, nowadays, due to excessive
work
 pressure, many employees compromise their private time to perform urgent tasks.
Consequently
,
work
-life imbalance for a length of time would make them suffer from both mental and physical illnesses.
Therefore
, long vacations enable them to stay away from
work
, reduce stress, and revitalize them for
work
.
Furthermore
, benefits
such
 as a long holiday would enhance the employees’ loyalty to the corporations;
as a result
, the staff will be more willing to dedicate their lives to their job and have better performance.
However
, providing extended vacations would bring latent disadvantages to individuals as well as companies.
First
, people tend to procrastinate after a long break. To be more specific, when employees are familiar with the holidays’ schedule, returning to
work
 with a strict timetable would be a nightmare that makes them feel stressed and exhausted.
Moreover
, the interruption of the manufacturing process for a long time would reduce the productivity and performance of the firms. In fact, many companies face economic crisis during long festival or summer breaks. In conclusion, I am firmly convinced that a four-week-holiday somewhat could enhance the workers’ efficiency;
however
, is not an optimum measure.
Submitted by dinhvyhanh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: