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Band 5.5

Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers. Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions?

#sales #companies #people #money #workers #force #work #factors #consideration #staff #positions
The marketing department is the key sector of every firm and these sectors can only create the demand
of
Change preposition
for
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 the goods. Undoubtedly, the wholesale man is most important staff in every
oganaisation
Correct your spelling
organisation
organization
 especially merchantry firms.
However
, the merchantry enterprise should hire
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 who
are
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is
show examples
starvate
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starvation
starving
 and most devoted labours because retailing is the most key factor.
Nevertheless
, I do not think cash is the motive power behind
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
 essay discusses what factors should be taken into view when
draw
Change the verb form
drawing
show examples
 the new man for
sales
 positions.
To begin
 with, I do not accept
this
 statement which is
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 money is the
motivate
Change the form of the verb
motivating
show examples
 force in
back
Add an article
the back
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 of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 because every person would like to work for their
jod
Correct your spelling
job
 as well as they enjoy. If the labour loves their
job
, they will put on
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 in any work. The
sales man
Correct your spelling
salesman
show examples
 is working to their occupation how full
detication
Correct your spelling
dedication
as well as
Add the comma(s)
, as well as job satisfaction and they,
show examples
job
 satisfaction and they do not care about the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of wages
this
 means they are focusing only finish the target in order to achieve something.
For example
, one of my friend working in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 marketing field for
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 five years and he earns
minimum
Add an article
a minimum
the minimum
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 amount of salary whereas he likes his
job
 and he feels
job
 satisfaction too.
Moreover
, there are many qualities need for
sales
Correct article usage
a sales
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 position
such
 as marketing
knowdelge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
, good communication skills, smiling faces, patience,
experience
Add an article
the experience
show examples
of
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in
show examples
 retailing business, marketing degree qualification, innovative ideas,
creativity
Replace the word
creative
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 mind, calculating maths skills, bargaining power, and
last
 but not least
brain wash
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brainwash
show examples
 skills.
For instance
, many corporate companies
recurit
Correct your spelling
recruit
sales people
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salespeople
show examples
 in
different
Change the article
a different
show examples
 way compared to other staff how they give
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
 product at
canditate
Correct your spelling
candidate
 hand meanwhile the
canditate
Correct your spelling
candidate
 will
sales
 the product in his way of idea in front of the employers
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 the employer have to understand to the
canditate
Correct your spelling
candidate
 ability. To conclude, money is the most important things in nowadays irrefutably and all folks are
continueously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 running to earn capital whereas many
sales women
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saleswomen
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 not
think
Change the verb form
thought
show examples
 about their salary when they are put
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
this
 means they like to do their occupation
as a result
, they can live without stress and depression. I hope many other sector
employee
Change to a plural noun
employees
show examples
also
doen
Correct your spelling
does
 not care about their amount of wages
becsuse
Correct your spelling
because
they
Add a verb
arethey
werethey
show examples
 only
concenrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
concentrated
 to
detication
Correct your spelling
dedication
 of the work. The wholesaling enterprise should see in the above qualities when they want a new staff in
commerce
Add an article
the commerce
show examples
 department.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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