IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people get into debt by buying thing they do not need and cannot afford. What is the reason for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

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Many
people
Use synonyms
 using a
debit
Use synonyms
carddebit
Correct your spelling
card debit
card debt
card
Use synonyms
 to acquire possession which is unnecessary and out of their reach. There are a number of reasons which I will discuss in the upcoming paragraph and describing the reasonable solution for
such
Linking Words
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 fast-paced ,
senario
Correct your spelling
scenario
 everyone like to obtain expensive clothes and luxury life.No doubt that these development make the human life easy but
on the other hand
Linking Words
 it is a kind of burden.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 using a
debit
Use synonyms
card
Use synonyms
 for getting new and high-priced possession for taking and uploading pictures on various social media
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook,Instagram,TikTok and so on.
Secondly
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, the significant growth of many elite Malls, that attract the masses in spending money on jewellery, branded clothes and gadgets.
Lastly
Linking Words
, with the apply of
credit
Use synonyms
card
Use synonyms
people
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 who have an average range of salary will
also
Linking Words
 obtain branded things. Buying unnecessary things using the
debit
Use synonyms
 will lead to a serious problem for many of the cardholders. There are many things that
people
Use synonyms
 could do to mitigate the problem. One of several reasons is that there should be provided with a clear regulation about a
credit
Use synonyms
card
Use synonyms
 that must be followed by banks and financial institution, regarding the process to get a
credit
Use synonyms
card
Use synonyms
. To ensure that every individual must have a limited amount of access to
credit
Use synonyms
card
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 according to their income.
Moreover
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, for adding more malls into the cities
instead
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, the government should build more parks and children playgrounds.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should have more options for entertainments
besides
Linking Words
 going to
shopping
Add an article
the shopping
a shopping
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. To be concluded, it is true that
Add a hyphen
public-facing
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 facing any problems with the apply of
debit
Use synonyms
 for obtaining luxury and fancy goods. To solve
this
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 problem, the government should build more recreational parks or area where
people
Use synonyms
 should spend their time
instead
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 of malls.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumerism
  • Impulsive purchasing
  • Financial literacy
  • Debt management
  • Budgeting skills
  • Credit facilities
  • Emotional spending
  • Therapeutic shopping
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Credit card debt
  • Financial education
  • Social status
  • Retail therapy
  • Economic behavior
  • Spending patterns
  • Compulsive buying
  • Financial solvency
  • Advertising influence
  • Societal expectations
  • Long-term consequences
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