IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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It is suggested that
employees
Use synonyms
 should be given at least a 4-week annual leave to
imporve
Correct your spelling
improve
 their working efficiency. While I understand the importance of having regular breaks, I disagree that the
holiday
Use synonyms
 should be as long as 4 weeks. On the one hand, knowing that after a long time of dedication rewarding will be awaiting,
employees
Use synonyms
 will have
motivations
Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
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 to work harder and put more
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 into their jobs. It can
also
Linking Words
 be mentally beneficial for people.
For example
Linking Words
,
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
 nowadays are always under tremendous pressure for they have to work overtime frequently. They spend almost all of their time on their jobs that they do not have time for their family and friends. Giving them
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
certain days of vacation would help them balance work and life better and
therefore
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 release their stress and tension. It can
hence
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 be argued that providing
employees
Use synonyms
holiday
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 is beneficial.
On the other hand
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, a 4-week
holiday
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 is too long for the company that it may affect the normal operation of the company, and even the whole society.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society is moving so fast that every
second
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 a new idea could be launched. Employers are competing with one another on a timely basis. With the position being vacant for a minimum of one month will
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the productivity and efficiency of the
coroption
Correct your spelling
corruption
.
Moreover
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, it may
also
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 arise contradictions between colleagues. If the team members have to cover tasks left by the person who is on
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 vacation, it will increase the already heavy workloads of these members and result in low efficiency. In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential pro blems of giving long
holiday
Use synonyms
 to
employees
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 are more significant than the possible benefits.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rest and recuperate
  • Increased productivity
  • Mental health
  • Enhanced creativity
  • Problem-solving
  • Reduced burnout
  • Job satisfaction
  • Work-life balance
  • Long-term benefits
  • Motivated workforce
  • Mental space
  • Extended break
  • Employee performance
  • Healthier workforce
  • Ample time
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