IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities. For this reason some job are better done by men and others by women. do you agree or disagree?

#men #women #terms #characteristics #abilities #reason #job
It is said that people should select their career based on their
gender
 to perform better in it, as a consequence of variations in intrinsic features of males and females. I strongly disagree with
this
 statement and the reasons for my position are as follow.
Firstly
,
men
 and
women
 as a human
are
Change the form of the verb
being
show examples
 able to do every occupation that they want. In fact,
everyone
Replace the word
every one
show examples
 of each sex could select a job and be successful in it by high attempt.
For instance
, some people argue that females are weak and sensitive to be the police or political character like being a president of a country, while in society can be seen that some
women
 are in place of power in those careers and shoulder responsibilities even more than
men
. I think M.s Merkel, president of Germany would be a good example to reveals the strength of a woman.
Secondly
,
men
 and
women
 complement each other.
Although
 it is undeniable fact that each
gender
 has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain or unique ability, better results will be obtained in a workplace where two sexes cooperate together, due to scientific discoveries. It creates a sense of balance because they think differently and have specific methods of doing things.
therefore
, rather than judging these differences to be
Add an article
a weakness
show examples
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
show examples
, I feel that we should view them as opportunities for innovation and discovery
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
 effective work practices. By the way of conclusion, I believe it does not matter what is your
gender
, both
men
 and
women
 employees are an asset to any industry and as our stereotypes are not always appropriate, we must not discourage anyone to opt an occupation because of his or her
gender
 and
also
 a person's weakness would probably be transformed into
strength
Add an article
a strength
show examples
 by working with another sex and more
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
.
Submitted by sa.parisa202 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: