The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010.

#line #graphs #show #production #demand #steel #million #tonnes #workers #industry #uk

The charts give

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

information about the employment status and the value changes in the

steel

industry during 1970-2000.

Overall

, the total

demand

Change preposition

for

show examples

steel

in the

fell, leading to a significant decrease in the

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

force over the period.

Besides

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

steel

production witnessed the same trend as the total

demand

while

the

steel

import had

Correct article usage

the

show examples

opposite. In 1970, the number of workers employed in the

steel

industry peaked at 50,000. Over the following years, the figure for employment in the

steel

industry declined significantly to around 17,000 in the year 2000. The year 1970

also

witnessed the total

demand

for

steel

in the

around

Change preposition

at around

show examples

200,000 tonnes,

while

the figures for production and imports were around 160,000 tonnes and 10,000 tonnes respectively.

The three

Correct article usage

Three

show examples

decades later, both the

demand

and the production of

steel

nearly halved,

while

the figure for

import

Wrong verb form

importing

show examples

steel

increased substantially to approximately 70,000.

Submitted by thanhhai29102000 on Tue Oct 19 2021

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, steel, demand with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

155 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Some people suggest that the circumstances of a crime and the reason for committing it should be taken into consideration when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many universitiy students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city. While others think that life in the countryside is more suitable. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places.

Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports.Others say that the society should be allowed to freely participate in any activities of their discuss both sides and give opinion

online shopping has various advantages for consumers but may also have disadvantages, such as the loss of some individual privacy. do the advantages of online shopping for the consumers outweight the disadvantages ?