The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010.

#line #graphs #show #production #demand #steel #million #tonnes #workers #industry #uk

The charts give

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

information about the employment status and the value changes in the

steel

industry during 1970-2000.

Overall

, the total

demand

Change preposition

for

show examples

steel

in the

fell, leading to a significant decrease in the

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

force over the period.

Besides

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

steel

production witnessed the same trend as the total

demand

while

the

steel

import had

Correct article usage

the

show examples

opposite. In 1970, the number of workers employed in the

steel

industry peaked at 50,000. Over the following years, the figure for employment in the

steel

industry declined significantly to around 17,000 in the year 2000. The year 1970

also

witnessed the total

demand

for

steel

in the

around

Change preposition

at around

show examples

200,000 tonnes,

while

the figures for production and imports were around 160,000 tonnes and 10,000 tonnes respectively.

The three

Correct article usage

Three

show examples

decades later, both the

demand

and the production of

steel

nearly halved,

while

the figure for

import

Wrong verb form

importing

show examples

steel

increased substantially to approximately 70,000.

Submitted by thanhhai29102000 on Tue Oct 19 2021

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, steel, demand with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

155 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010.

Some people say that drug companies have a responsibility to spend money on researching medicines that will help people in poorer countries. Others say the main responsibility of drug companies is to make money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In Some Countries An Increasing Number Of People Are Suffering From Health Problems As A Result Of Eating Too Much Fast Food

Parents are the best teachers. Do you agree or disagree?

The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a break down in family relationships and communication.(To what extent do you agree?)