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Band 7.5

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 % female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. Do you agree?

#positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #percentage #women
Recently, one of the controversial and challenging issues among companies, people, the government is balanced distributing of workforces in social. Of course, each group has its reason for supporting its beliefs. I agree with
this
 statement in
this
 essay due to some factors I shall discuss in the following paragraphs. Despite some views and people's opinions, women could not be successful in senior or high-level positions and managerial jobs; there are many samples of excellent and outstanding samples in the world. With the prevalence of the COVID-19 pandemic, some of these females have high and great success,
such
 as Germany, News land, and Finland. These countries could not only control
this
 awful situation excellently and disastrous crises but
also
, they were able to manage effortlessly. Meanwhile, most of us assign training childbearing and taking care of children and families for our wives;
on the other hand
, we claim that women could not undertake managerial positions.
Besides
, according to the latest survey, Gallop has revealed that some companies that have hired equal workforces could achieve their aims, even the efficiency and productivity have dramatically increased.
Furthermore
, we are a witness in these companies has high spirit with lively and fresh atmosphere.
Finally
, having employees with excellent spirit, happy and fresh, would access if we assign and allocate equal opportunity for the whole female and male.
Therefore
, I recommend to the government; it is better to allocate encouraging financial recourses or loans
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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