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Band 4

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#position #women #societies #years #gender #equality
Nowadays there are many discussions about
men
 and
women
equally
Add a missing verb
being equally
show examples
 valued. In
societies
Add a comma
,societies
show examples
 it is not achieved
wanted
Add an article
the wanted
show examples
 status of gender
equality
. Simultaneously, it is
prevalent
Add an article
a prevalent
the prevalent
show examples
 conviction among nations that individuals need to have equal positions in daily life. Personally, I defend the idea that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gender
equality
 can not be possible in
society
.
This
 essay is going to demonstrate my views with supportive explanations and provide examples where relevant.
First
 of all, the main reason why I agree with the given statement is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equal rights between the sexes can cause many problems in
society
. What I mean is that gender
equality
 can not be ,because
women
, biologically, have less physical strength compared to
men
, and more importantly,
women
 bear children, which is a huge deal. Girls can not do all things like
men
. We can never have total
equality
 between genders, and you shouldn’t
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
men
 and
women
 are really different. If you want to pretend that
men
 and
women
 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exactly the same, you will end up with a neutered, sexless
society
 and
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
show examples
 we won’t have any children
any more
Correct your spelling
anymore
show examples
.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 we can see it from developed countries
such
 as Germany, Italy ,Russi,etc.
Number
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The number
show examples
 of birth children are decreasing according to statistics. It is the effect of feminism.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 the
women
`s movement will make
men
 get like
women
 or
vise
Change the spelling
vice
show examples
 versa. Which is a huge problem nowadays like LGBT communities.
Society
 and civilization itself
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 built on that basic premise. We destroy it, we may end up destroying human civilization itself.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • historical context
  • gender pay gap
  • underrepresentation
  • leadership roles
  • gender-based violence
  • educational opportunities
  • workforce
  • legal reforms
  • statistics
  • case studies
  • global perspective
  • progressive changes
  • cultural differences
  • empowerment
  • patriarchy
  • systemic discrimination
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