IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The length of vacation that employees enjoy each year varies from job to job. Do you think people should have the same number of holidays regardless of their occupation? Explain your answer.

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The matter of whether or not different jobs should have the same length of
vacation
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 brings great concern to the public. In
this
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 article, I will discuss the reasons why I can’t entirely agree with
this
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 view. It is undeniable that giving
different
Add an article
the different
a different
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of holidays to different jobs will make some people feel unfair. On the one hand, some types of
work
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 cannot be given
vacation
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 like ordinary
work
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. Specifically, public service professions
such
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 as doctors, firefighters, and transportation employees require people to
work
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 7/24. My aunt's experience serves as a typical example. She and her husband are both railway station staff. They have not celebrated the Spring Festival together in 6 years. She told me that the best situation is to have the opportunity to eat a takeaway together when the train meets. These basic service staffs provide us with convenience, just like a candle burning itself to give us light.
On the other hand
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, some
work
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 is so hard that these employees must take more rest time. Movie cameraman can be taken as an example. It is normal for them to
work
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 15 hours a day, so many people choose
teo
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to
 take a week off after a week of
work
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. I think it will be dangerous for them if they do not have enough
vacation
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 after these kinds of works. To sum up, I think the length of the
vacation
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 should be decided according to the specific situation of the
work
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fairness
  • parity
  • equality
  • work-life balance
  • morale
  • job satisfaction
  • burnout
  • rejuvenate
  • mental and physical health
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • motivation
  • economic impact
  • social impact
  • leisure industries
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