IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagrams below show life cycle of the silk and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summerise the information by selecting and reportinh the main features

The diagrams below show life cycle of the silk and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summerise the information by selecting and reportinh the main features
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The given diagrams illustrate the period of the
silkworm
Change noun form
silkworm's
show examples
 life
also
Linking Words
 there are some steps which involve in producing
silk
Use synonyms
 cloth
Overall
Linking Words
,there are 4 stages which build cycles from
eggs
Correct article usage
the eggs
show examples
 period to
Use synonyms
cocoon
Correct article usage
the cocoon
show examples
 cycle,
as well as
Linking Words
 it can be seen that the process of preparing
silk
Use synonyms
 cloth from boiling to weaving First of all,eggs are produced by moths.after ten days,they convert to silkworm
larva
Fix the agreement mistake
larvae
show examples
 and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are fed by mulberry
leaf
Fix the agreement mistake
leaves
show examples
. 4_6 weeks take long to appear
silk
Use synonyms
 thread by the larva.
finally
Linking Words
,after a period of about 3_8 days, the
cocoon
Use synonyms
 was created by
larva
Add an article
the larva
show examples
.16 days after producing
Use synonyms
cocoon
Correct article usage
a cocoon
show examples
,it again turns
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
moth
Correct article usage
a moth
show examples
 and a new cycle will be started.
Regarding
Change preposition
To
show examples
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
production of
silk
Use synonyms
 cloth,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 starts with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
boiling the
cocoon
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water.after which,
Correct article usage
the thread
show examples
thread
Fix the agreement mistake
threads
show examples
 are separated in unwind stage and their length is getting wider between 300_900
m.thread
Correct your spelling
thread
 can be twisted,
dyed
Correct word choice
and dyed
show examples
.
finally
Linking Words
,it is weaved and now it is totally ready.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words silk, cocoon with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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