IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#position #women #societies #years #gender #equality
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The bar graph illustrates how many trips were made by
children
 to
school
 and from
school
 in one nation in 1990 and 2010 by various modes of transports. Overall, most
children
 travelled by walking in 2010.
however
,
children
 who travelled by car were highest in 1990.
In contrast
, the lowest
number
 of
children
 travelling by car was seen in 1990 and fewer
children
 used the cycle to go to
school
 in 2010. The
number
 of car passengers was just over 4
million
 in 1990 which was less mode of transport used by
children
 to travel to and from
school
 but
this
 mode of transport was most popular in 2010. , the total of
children
 who went by walk was just over 12
million
 in 1990 it means most
children
 went to
school
 by walk in 1990 and 6
million
 used to go to
school
 by walk. Cycling,
on the other hand
, was least popular than other modes of transports in 2010 which was only 2
million
 but the
number
 of
children
 travelling by cycle was accounted for just over 6million in 1990. The
number
 of
children
 used to go both by walking and bus was just under 6
million
 but the
number
 declined to just around 3
million
 in 2010. 7
million
 in 1990 and 5
million
 were used to take the bus to travel to
school
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • historical context
  • gender pay gap
  • underrepresentation
  • leadership roles
  • gender-based violence
  • educational opportunities
  • workforce
  • legal reforms
  • statistics
  • case studies
  • global perspective
  • progressive changes
  • cultural differences
  • empowerment
  • patriarchy
  • systemic discrimination
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