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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar charts below show the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts below show the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart illustrates information about the ten most popular cases for the manufacturing and expenditures of electricity in the year 2014.
Firstly
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, from the blueprint, it seems to be,
China
Use synonyms
 and the United States were of the highest rank,
while
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 the other societies were less put forward.
As well as
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, the construction was relatively higher than the consumption.
Furthermore
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 graph, the most effective management was in
China
Use synonyms
, with 5.398 billion kWh.
Following
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this
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, the United States became approximately 1.100 less than
China
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, Russia, Japan and India experienced relatively the same amount, between 1.057 and 871. The rest of the communities experienced a minor number between 618.9 and 485.1.
Secondly
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, In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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consumption, the largest segment was
China
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, with 5.322. it was about 70 billion kWh less than the manufacture in the country.
Then
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 the United States showed several 3.866 as the most desired society in the sketch. Russia, Japan and India showed a rate of 1.057, 856.7 and 698.8.
Moreover
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, all those other countries experienced a relatively lower rate than the manufacturer, except Germany, which showed several 582.5. To summarise, ten essential countries rely on electricity insincerely
on
Change preposition
for
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 construction and consumption. The majority of the management society is
Use synonyms
China
Change preposition
in China
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 compared with fewer countries, especially Korea.Rep.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words china with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity production
  • electricity consumption
  • megawatt-hours (MWh)
  • top ten countries
  • comparison
  • leading producers/consumers
  • highest producers
  • similarities
  • differences
  • relationship
  • significant gap
  • global scenario
  • balance
  • imbalance
  • overview
  • highlighting
  • identify
  • discuss
  • mention
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