The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#position #women #societies #years #gender #equality

Gender

equality

is a right that both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

and

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

can enjoy the same position in policy, economy, and society. The past 50 years have seen changes

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show examples

women

’s position in many societies.

However

gender

equality

still has not been achieved completely. I

similarly

believe

this

and my reasons are twofold. In previous centuries,

women

were not allowed to have their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

in the patriarchal society until an awareness of feminism appeared came out.

However

, most

women

still worry about quitting or losing their jobs when they are married and pregnant. Undoubtedly, companies

also

consider

this

kind of uncertainty, so they will prefer to hire men than

women

, especially in a high position.

This

is the reason why

women

can work in a good company but they always have obstacles in front of their promotion.

Women

can have their own

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

and be commercial independent. In the mid-20th century, the movement of the

second

wave feminism,

women

argue that they should be allowed the same rights, power and opportunities as men. So far, there are many companies

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

provide almost the same career opportunities for

women

. Even though there is a complete system for maternity leave,

women

absolutely take their child and family as the

first

priority.

Furthermore

women

are always responsible for housekeeping and play a vital role in raising children. If

gender

equality

is achieved, husband and wife should share their housework and spend quality time with their children in a

fair way

Correct your spelling

fairway

show examples

. The truth is that even though

women

are in a double-income family, wives always take more housework than husbands. Overall, without a doubt,

women

can almost enjoy the same rights as men now.

However

, humans still need to work hard to implement complete

gender

equality

Submitted by nanami641003 on Sat Dec 25 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

immigration has become very useful these days what is your opinion about it

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons and include examples.

Nowadays celebrities are more famous by their wealth and glamour instead of their achievement. This is a bad sample for younger.

Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet. They believe this is the best way of using public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in. Discuss bothe the views and give your opinion.