IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Preservatives found in many foods mean they last longer and do not spoil, although there is concern that they can have adverse effects on our health. Do the dangers that arise from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?

Eating healthy is essential in
order
Use synonyms
 to gain the energy people need for their ambitions and goals. On many
Correct your spelling
occasions
ocassions
Add a comma
,ocassions
show examples
 industries prefer to make their
food
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products
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
 longer with
preservatives
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. Many
claim
Change to a plural noun
claims
show examples
 that these strategies can have negative effects on peoples health. The question is if the negatives from the
chemicals
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 are less
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 the positives of using
preservatives
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 in many foods. In my opinion, the drawbacks of long term
food
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 contain
preservatives
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 are much more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 the positives that people gain.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, by using
chemicals
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 on
food
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 the environment
suffer
Change the verb form
suffers
show examples
 because it is forced to
last
Linking Words
 longer by cutting down their physical life cycle.
For example
Linking Words
, all
products
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sucks
Change the verb form
suck
show examples
 as vegetables have their own life cycle which must be followed in
order
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 to have fresh
food
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. If
chemicals
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 are used on these
products
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 in
order
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 to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
 longer the product is spoiled and the plants can not reproduce the product.
As a result
Linking Words
, not only does the environment have bad effects but
also
Linking Words
 the people which eat unhealthy
food
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. Meanwhile, many citizens suffer from dangerous
diseas
Correct your spelling
disease
diseases
be
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
 eating
chemicals
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 that are involved in the
products
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such
Linking Words
 as diabetes or even cancer.
For instance
Linking Words
, many studies have shown that the
chemicals
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 which are used increase
significally
Correct your spelling
significantly
 the chance of diagnosing with cancer in the future.
As a result
Linking Words
, young adults should prefer to eat biological
products
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 in
order
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 to remain
healthu
Correct your spelling
healthy
 and to get the vitamins a fresh product provides. In
conclucion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, eating healthy is
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 for every age group
dispite
Correct your spelling
despite
 the cost.
Preservatives
Use synonyms
 should be avoided to decrease the change of
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
. In my
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
show examples
, it is vital that fresh
food
Use synonyms
 without
preservatives
Use synonyms
 be more
advertisised
Correct your spelling
advertised
 in
order
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 to raise awareness about the positive aspects which healthy
food
Use synonyms
 provides.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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