IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

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There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over whether more sugar-based
drinks
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 are being consumed by
people
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay is devoted to underlying roots, followed by some equivalent effective solutions to
this
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 dire problem. Without a shadow of a doubt, in
this
Linking Words
 day and age, more citizens tend to take advantage of sugar and caffeine-based
drinks
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, more negative results they have.
This
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 happens because of those
drinks
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' influences, drinking sugar and caffeine
drinks
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 can make residents addicted to them.
For instance
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,
red bull
Correct your spelling
Red Bull
show examples
 can be cited as a compelling example,
people
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such
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 as students have a tendency to drink it in order to feel more energetic and have more time to cram into knowledge before some indispensable examinations.
As a consequence
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, overuse of those kinds of
drinks
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 can have harmful impacts on both physical health and mental health. To prevent
this
Linking Words
 serious issue, there are numerous solutions have been put forward.
However
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 one of the most effective methods is probably imposing tax. Taxes
Change preposition
on
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 sugar and caffeine-based
drinks
Use synonyms
 should be increased when buying those. Another solution is that there should be more advertisements on broadcast about the negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 of sugar-based
drinks
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. In
this
Linking Words
 digital society, almost all dwellers make use of high technological devices
such
Linking Words
 as laptops or smartphones so promoting unsatisfactory impacts of those
drinks
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 on them could help
people
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 avoid sugar-based
drinks
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. In conclusion, there are various undesirable impacts of sugar-based
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
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. To stop
this
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, there are considerable actions which
people
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 can do to avoid them.

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introduction conclusion present
Try to have a clear thesis statement in your introduction to guide the reader through your argument. This will strengthen your essay structure and make your purpose clear from the start.
logical structure
Work on linking ideas and paragraphs more smoothly. Use a variety of transition words and phrases to help the reader understand the connections between your points.
supported main points
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help to illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing to the reader.
complete response
Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. Be clear and comprehensive in your explanations, using specific examples to support your points and deepen the analysis.
clear comprehensive ideas
Take care to develop your ideas fully. Each paragraph should have one clear main idea supported by examples or explanations. Avoid introducing new ideas without proper development.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific real-life examples or data to reinforce your arguments about the negative impacts of sugary drinks and the effectiveness of proposed solutions.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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