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Band 5.5

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour
Some
people
 believe that
violence
 on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
. Others deny that these factors have any significant
influence
 on
people
's
behaviour
. What is your opinion? Opinions are divided on whether
violence
 in
media
 has a positive or a negative
influence
 on
society
. In my opinion, violent
behaviour
 on
media
 is responsible for the serious problems in the community, since the crime rate is increasing day by day, as well as, in the coming generations,
people
 are becoming indifferent towards each other.
First
 of all,
society
 is encountering
with
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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rapidly rising crimes ubiquitously.
This
 is mainly happening because
people
 regularly watch
violence
 played by their famous stars on
media
. As
people
 spend most of their leisure time in front of televisions, computer games and Youtube or Netflix screens, they learn aggressive and violent
behaviour
 from
media
 platforms.
This
 stimulates them to practice
this
 type of attitude in their daily lives. Many
people
,
therefore
, are turning into criminals or terrorists by following the attributes of their favourite celebrities.
Consequently
, criminal activities are increasing in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contemporary
society
.
Moreover
, owing to the emerging violent nature of
people
 in the community, cold and indifferent
behaviour
 is flourishing.
For instance
, in the past,
people
 did care for each other, neighbours shared sorrows and sufferings of others, the young generation took care of the elderly.
However
, nowadays, everyone has adopted selfish and arrogant
behaviour
 due to the effect of
violence
 on
media
.
Thus
,
people
 do not bother
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 troubles of others and do not help in the plight of their needy and impoverished peers. All of these problems are arising due to the detrimental
influence
 of
violence
 on
media
. In conclusion, I believe that the
violence
 on
media
 is causing serious repercussions on
society
 in terms of exponentially rising crimes and rapidly increasing selfishness everywhere in the community.
Therefore
, it can be predicted that the negative
influence
 of
violence
 on
media
 will keep on escalating in the future.
Submitted by tubashaukat93 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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