IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The given bar charts provide information about various options chosen by the UK students after finishing their graduation and post graduation studies except pursuing full-time employment in the year 2008. Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as it is a limited resource, while others it should not be regulated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The given bar charts provide information about various options chosen by the UK students after finishing their graduation and post graduation studies except pursuing full-time employment in the year 2008. Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as it is a limited resource, while others it should not be regulated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
government
Use synonyms
 should strictly control the supply of fresh
water
Use synonyms
, as it is a limited resource,
while
Linking Words
 others
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should not be regulated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that there should be strict regulation on the use of
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 by the
government
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, others think that
water
Use synonyms
 should be available freely to all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals. I
also
Linking Words
 believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 should impose some limitation imposed on the supply of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
. Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views will be discussed in detail with examples in upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 is a basic physiological need of human beings without which life is impossible. Scientific studies have proven that
water
Use synonyms
 is necessary to maintain equilibrium in human bodies. It helps in maintaining
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 mental
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
 of individuals.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is unfair for the
government
Use synonyms
 to control
this
Linking Words
 basic amenity.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
 will have to pay for the consumption of
water
Use synonyms
, it will put
financial
Add an article
a financial
the financial
show examples
 burden on
people
Use synonyms
. The citizens of underdeveloped or developing countries, who are below the poverty line will be most influenced by
this
Linking Words
 regulation.
For instance
Linking Words
, millions of poor
people
Use synonyms
 who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 in the form of extended families in India will be unable to afford the cost of the
water
Use synonyms
 they need to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the needs of their large families.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will decrease their
water
Use synonyms
 usage which will compromise their health, hygiene, and sanitation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if no restrictions are imposed,
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
 can eventually run out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 its overuse. A research study reveals that in the
next
Linking Words
 50 years, more than
billion
Correct article usage
a billion
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will live without safe drinking
water
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, regulation is advantageous to prevent the wastage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 because
people
Use synonyms
 will use it wisely if the limits will be imposed.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 is spending funds to install and maintain the
water
Use synonyms
 supply system.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if the citizens will pay a certain amount in order to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
water
Use synonyms
 supply, it will help the
government
Use synonyms
 to use that money in providing, maintaining, and extending the facilities.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there should be certain charges imposed
while
Linking Words
 installing the
water
Use synonyms
 supply system in
people
Use synonyms
’s
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
;
however
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 supply should be free to all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens so that everyone can enjoy
this
Linking Words
 resource irrespective of their family size and financial background.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, therefore, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, government, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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